1. DO NOT SEE ALL THE RATO UP ABOVE
With a hallucinated face. “Wow, how big is everything in this city.”
WALK Do not walk slowly and stopping every bit, dry, to consult the map. Or the guide. Or the map and the guide at the same time. Or take a picture with the iPad.
“I have been told that you can go everywhere and walk the metro…”. Yes, it’s dirty, it smells bad, it’s very hot in summer and also in winter, but it’s also the best way to get through Manhattan.
4. AND IF YOU COOK IT…
a) Do not take too long to buy the ticket. Go with the lesson learned: what is the Metrocard, what is better, one day, recharge, week. Try to look at the faces of the New Yorkers you are making wait, to realize that something is wrong.
b) Learn, by mimesis, to pass the card to enter the subway. “Please, swipe again” (“Please pass the card again”). Not so fast, not so slow, and because of the magnetic stripe. That’s what this New Yorker tries to tell you, who has clashed with you with that grunt.
5. DO NOT SPEAK SLOWLY, BUT ABOVE ALL, DO NOT SPEAK UP ALSO
Do not do it in your own language: “Quie-ro u-no de e-sos”. They speak English, they are not deaf, they do not understand you.
6. DO NOT WEAR THESE T-SHIRTS
7. OR THOSE CROWNS OF STATUE OF FREEDOM
Do not fall into the topic of saying: “It’s as if I’d already been here, because of the movies, you know, Mari?” And then, avoid taking a picture with a flabby Batman.
OR at the Apple store. Are you going to wait until to see a toy store (FAO Schwartz)? Do it, instead, in the places that cool according to the New York Times.
10. WILL YOU TAKE COLA UP TO BREAK A PHOTO WITH A BULL?
And just touching the eggs. To the bull. DO NOT.
11. AVOID MAKING COLA IN THE BURGER JOINT
Secret burger shop say, ha. The line goes around the Disneyland attractions.
12. DO NOT MAKE YOUR PHOTOS HERE
The tourist pro even ends up making himself a croissant. And then enter, to not buy anything. Or buy the cheapest. That Tiffany’s looks like The English Court of opportunity , by God.
That the neighbors are up to their noses, of course.
14. AND HAPPEN FROM PHOTOGRAPHING THE GARBAGE MOUNTAINS
Those that the New Yorkers already do not see, nor feel, nor suffer.
15. DO NOT PULL A SUITCASE BY THE CITY.
A suitcase for each member of the family? It is worth somewhere that you have to put the purchases but…
To New Jersey outlets.
17. DO NOT WALK ALL MANHATTAN TO GO TO B & H
( better known as ‘The Jewish Technology Store’) to discover that it is closed for Jewish holiday.
18. IF YET NOTES THE BAD SMELL OF THE CITY, YOU ARE A TOURIST
The smell of the metro, the smell of accumulated garbage, the smell of kebab mixed with Chinese food and Cuban food and pizza.
19. IF YOU SEE ONE, DO NOT CRY “A RAT!” (AND DO NOT PERPETUATE IT IN YOUR CHAMBER!)
While the New Yorker thinks: “So what?”.
20. DO NOT PAY 3 $ THE MINUTE FOR GOING UP TO A PEDICAB.
Or a rickshaw, or a taxi bike. Whatever you want to call it. But it’s 3 dollars a minute! Be cold or hot.
21. AVOID THE TYPICAL WALK BY CENTRAL PARK MOUNTED IN A HORSE CAR
Thinking yourself to be Robert Redford and Jane Fonda de Descalzos in the park. Really? The tourists and the coachmen are the only ones who today regret that they can be banned.
22. THE LIST OF ‘NEW YORK FREE PLANS’ SOBRA
Because you probably paid $ 3 per minute for riding a taxi.
23. DO NOT PICK THE FERRY FROM MANHATTAN TO STATEN ISLAND (GIVING BACK IN THE SAME FERRY)
As much as I put it on your New York list for free.
24. AND YES, IT WILL BE INEVITABLE THAT YOU SAY “YOU’LL HAVE TO RETURN MORE TIME NEXT TIME”
Proud with your shirt and your I LOVE NY mug.