When things go well in a relationship there are no difficult times to face, but when there are problems is when a person shows their humanity and know how to be. This is especially important at the time the couple ends. Knowing how to approach a breakup, especially when you are the one who poses it, is not always easy, but there are certain actions and attitudes that are intolerable from any point of view.
Facing a break is not usually an easy task and in fact there are those who prefer to prolong a finished relationship before having to go through the process of being the first to take the step and recognize that things do not work. And is that to do it you have to have value, but also a little left hand, because it is very important how it is posed to the couple that wants to end the relationship.
It can be done in many different ways and it is best to be clear and direct. But the section of bad ways to break with someone is even wider. We wanted to focus on those five methods you should never use. And if you see yourself recognized in any of them our most sincere encouragement, because it is not fair.
A message from Whatsapp
The Whatsapp has revolutionized the way we communicate in recent years and that has much merit. But it cannot be used for all the circumstances of life. It is a very useful instant communication to remind your partner to buy bread that comes back from work or to be affectionate when you miss her, but not to break with her.
The new technologies can be very cold and in the case of facing a break what is needed is warmth, proximity. Keep in mind that things may not work but remember that at some point they did and the best way to honor that memory is not leaving it for Whatsapp.
Yet it is a fairly widespread way lately to end relationships. Just as other people have done: it is not valid. Take a moment in the place of the person who is going to receive the message, think that you read the same at a meeting , the bus back home or how much is taking a rod with friends.
You do not know what the other person will be doing when you tell him that you want to quit, or if it will be a good time. Just as in writing you explain better than speaking, that excuse is not valid. And keep in mind that a break up Whatsapp is not fair, but much less that in the message add emoticons, because it will seem like you’re laughing at the one that until a while ago was your partner.
A very long email
You may think that a Whatsapp message is very cold, that a custom mail is much better. No, it is not a valid way to face a break. It is also true that you have more possibilities to explain yourself better, you can write everything you want, and it is not enough to say “I want to leave” , but it is still not something to be done. It may be more comfortable for you, you will not have to face your partner and say everything you want, but for her it will be as uncomfortable as you can imagine. And also will not even know how to react, especially if it is something that is not expected. The new technologies are not a good idea when you want to break up with someone, unless you want to look like a slob.
A handwritten note
Before the new technologies existed and we communicated via Whatsapp leaving someone through a handwritten note was the creepiest way to do it. The notes of love in the fridge or in the lunch box are fine, but that to leave written “I’m sorry, I cannot continue with ours” is very bad. If you’ve seen ‘ Sex in New York ‘ you’re sure to remember the episode where Carrie is left with a post it. No matter what type of paper to use, it’s always a bad idea.
Keep in mind that in this case, the person you leave has no possibility of giving you the reply. You left it on a note, what will she do? Call you to confirm that you have found the note? In addition, this has a danger: that the piece of paper is traspapele and not sees until a certain time later. A mess, come on. Plus a pretty insensitive way to leave it with someone.
To other people
The relationship is a thing of two so the break must also be. It is a time when you say goodbye to what you have lived together and that is why it is very intimate, it is not to be shared with other people. So nothing to schedule a breakup with family or friends, let alone at a social event.
Doing so will make the other person feel helpless and evil, because they will not know how to act before something that was not expected and that has come suddenly? No one but you is interested in the reasons why you break your relationship or not. It is another thing to have the support of loved ones to face the rupture.
Changing your sentimental state in Facebook
“Well I change the status of Facebook, I do not put that I am in a relationship and so you find out without having to say anything.” If this idea has gone through your mind you are not aware of everything that can generate. Firstly because you decide to break something unilaterally and without telling the other person.
And secondly because your ex-partner may be the last to know about your change of civil status, to find out because the neighbor of the room tells her or because she has a trail of comments in the social network encouraging her or asking her what happened when you do not even know it.
Given all the above a recommendation in case you are thinking about breaking up with your partner: do it face-to-face, choose a moment when you are alone and be private – for if someone gives you to start crying -, and prepare what you are going to say He fled the new technologies to end a relationship.